Do you encourage your kids make new years resolutions? I’ve started making resolutions throughout the year whenever I feel I need to make a change but there is something special and a feeling of a fresh start that only a new year brings. I especially love making them at this time of year and have been thinking about encouraging Anya to do the same.
Last year we talked to her about making new years resolutions and while she liked the idea, she struggled to come up with what resolutions to make. I’ve since realised that she’s a bit too young to come up with resolutions herself so this year I’ve decided to give her some prompts which will help. I’ve come up with a list of 10 questions and prompts which I plan to give her and see what she comes up with. I thought I would share them here in case they inspire you to do the same with your kids. So here are my ideas for new years resolutions for kids:
What I especially like about resolutions is that it allows you to take a little time out and think about yourself – what you like about yourself and what you feel you can improve on. For me, resolutions aren’t just about changing the bad but also a lot about doing more of what you are good at or love. They’re about broadening your horizon’s and living a more fulfilled life. So are you going to be making resolutions? And will you encourage your kids to?
When you praise your kids to friends, is it bragging? Schools out and I could not be more proud of Anya. She has achieved so much this year – getting the achievers award for her year as well as a fabulous report. A report that made me cry because not only was it great on the learning and academic front, but the wonderful things they wrote about her as a person made my heart swell with pride. But why is it considered boasting to tell others that your child has done well? Why is it not acceptable to be proud of your child in public? Why do some parents feel the need to put you down if you praise your child?
As a habit, I don’t speak much about Anya’s achievements to anyone apart from family. But I happened to mention these latest achievements to a ‘friend’ and she immediately turned around and said something jokingly (but with a clear sarcastic edge) along the lines of how I couldn’t stop talking about my super star child. I had mentioned it once. It was the day I found out about her achievers award and naturally I was bursting with pride. This is a recent example but I have been faced with this same situation before.
I get that if you constantly talk about how great your kid is then it is annoying, very annoying and that is showing off. If every update on facebook is about your how your 2 year old is reading War and Peace then yes, that’s not cool. But to once mention an achievement or something fabulous they have done should be more than ok. After all you should be able to share your proud parent moments with friends and expect them to be happy for you. I am equally happy to talk about Anya’s faults (like her making crazy faces every time I get the camera out 😉) and I don’t ever hide them so why shouldn’t I speak of her accomplishments? When friends tell me about the wonderful things their kids have achieved, I am genuinely happy for them. It’s not a competition – if my kid did something great, it’s not a reflection on your kid. In fact it has nothing to do with your kid.
On the flip side, if you talk about your child’s faults or shortcomings, everybody seems more than happy to listen. Those same people that dismiss the good stuff, are all ears when it comes to the bad stuff. Strange. This isn’t a rant, but I’m genuinely wondering how parents feel about this – maybe some people will say that me mentioning it even once was showing off. I personally think that we should be comfortable praising our kids to others beyond family. If they’ve done something that made you proud, why not tell people and expect them to be happy for you. Of course, I’m not saying that every conversation should revolve around your ah-mazing kid who can do no wrong. But there is a big difference between bragging about your kids and just being proud of an achievement. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and any ‘bragging’ experiences you’ve had, good or bad?
I am so glad I have started writing down what Anya says because even at 6½ years she comes out with some hilarious stuff! I know these innocent comments and crazy sweet words will disappear over time so I want to make the most of it! Do you write down what your kids say? It’s such a lovely memory to have and look back on. So to end the week on a happy, funny and light-hearted note, here are some recent conversations with Anya:
We were chatting about an upcoming 6th birthday party that Anya was invited to. Me: What does your friend like? I need to buy her a birthday present. Anya: She likes boys.(of course I’m thinking, boys already?! But I continue the conversation) Me: I can’t buy her a boy, can I? Anya: No, but you can buy her a toy boy! Oh the innocence of childhood!
Out of the blue: Anya: Do I have boobies or nickels?
We were at a restaurant and Anya chose Cumberland sausage and chips for her meal. She then proceeded to tell the waitress her order: Anya: Can I please have the sausage and chips without the Cumberland?
Anya’s just lost both her front teeth. We’ve always made a big deal of the tooth fairy and Anya’s always been so excited about the whole magic of the tooth fairy, much more so than Santa (sorry Santa!). So I was not ready for this. Me: How much did the tooth fairy give you this time? Anya: (very matter of factly) It’s not really the tooth fairy. Me: Who is it then? Anya: It’s you. Noooo… I’m not ready for these magical myths to be busted just yet.
What are some of the funny, cute, candid and crazy things your kids have said? I’d love to hear so do leave a comment below.
A couple of weeks ago Anya and I went shopping to buy a birthday gift for one of her friends. Near our local shops, we have a large no-car square surrounded by shops with an outdoor play fountain in the middle that the kids adore. I often see kids turning up in their swimsuits and playing in the fountain till they are drenched. Playing outside with water is such a fun thing to do for kids and Anya loves it too. On this day we visited the fountain and I saw at least three kids, aged between 2 and 6 years, playing without any clothes on at all. I was quite bit taken aback.
I have no problem with kids taking their clothes off as kids, especially the littlest ones, like to do that and there is absolutely no harm in a private garden or similar private space. But in a public place in full view of thousands of people, I just didn’t think this was a good idea and I know I would not be comfortable letting Anya do it. Also age is a factor here – I mean five or six is just a bit too old to do something like this under any circumstances in public. Obviously I’m also thinking about the darker side of life where we do live alongside a very small minority of people who may not have good intentions – you know what I mean. So why put our kids in what could be a vulnerable position? That’s how I feel but am I over-reacting? Am I being too cautious and cynical? I don’t know but it absolutely doesn’t feel right to me. And even if you set aside any fears of the darker side of life, is it really appropriate to allow your kids to be naked in public? I don’t think so.
Would you let your kids take off all their clothes in a busy, public place? All it takes is that one wrong person to see them so I think even though it’s a very small risk, it’s a risk not worth taking. Similarly I wouldn’t put pictures of my kids without clothes on this blog or any social media either. But aside from any dangers, I still think there’s no reason for kids to take their clothes off in public. What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Have a wonderful weekend full of lots of playtime in the sunshine! And a very happy 4th of July to my American readers. x
The other day I was told a story about a three year old girl who was given a book. She opened the book and she tried to press it. She then started sliding her finger to get the pages to move. She continued pressing, sliding, scrolling and got increasingly frustrated when nothing happened. This child had never seen a real book before. Her only experience of books had been electronic. I haven’t made this up even though I wish I had. This was told to me by someone who knew the little girl, while we were discussing technology and kids. And that got me thinking, how much tech is too much but also is there such a thing as too little?
People often ask me if I let Anya use my ipad and other devices and how much I let her use them. The answer is yes, I do let her use the devices but there are rules and restrictions. Since I’m asked a lot I thought I would share some of the things I do to limit her use of iphones and ipads. I do believe that our kids are growing up in an age where technology is everywhere and that they need to be exposed to it as it is so much a part of our lives. And there are a lot of good things about technology so I want it to be a part of her life but not take over and or become her main source of entertainment. So here are a few things I do to limit her ipad time:
1. She has to ask before using the ipad/iphone. She can’t just help herself!
2. We treat the ipad like a treat! So just like any treat, she knows that it’s not something she can have everyday but instead it’s something that can only be used once in a while. But I never use it as a reward.
3. If she asks for it when I don’t think she should have it, I suggest another activity rather than just saying no. So I’ll suggest colouring, dressing up or anything else that she loves doing and this often works because thankfully children forget easily! Or if that fails, I will suggest reading together or something else we can do together.
4. When she does get to use it, I usually limit her time and tell her that upfront. Then when times up, it’s up. Sticking to your resolve really counts here because the inevitable ‘5 more minutes, please, please, please’ will always happen. (Of course , there are times I’ve given in to extra time especially when I’ve got stuff to do myself – naughty mama!).
5. Buy books. Lots of them – story books, activity books, colouring books. And keep books accessible so your kids can reach them easily. I’ve found that a new book for Anya is far more exciting than a new app.
6. There are certain situations where I don’t allow the ipad at all like mealtimes and car journeys because once you allow it, I think it can easily become the norm. So sticking to never is easier for me and for Anya because she doesn’t ever expect it at these times.
7. Obviously don’t buy them their own device because that’s just asking for trouble. This might sound very obvious but I actually know 5, 6, 7 year old kids who have their own ipad and it never fails to shock me no matter how many times I come across a kid with one.
There is one exception I make to all the above and that’s when she wants to listen to music because she loves music. Right now the ipad and iphone are our only sources of music so if she wants to listen to something I never stop her. In fact I encourage it.
We all know kids learn by example so the amount of screen time you have will have an influence. I rarely watch TV but I am guilty of spending too much time on my laptop and this has naturally influenced Anya and her tech consumption. I’m trying to make sure that once she comes home from school I shut off and then do anything pending after she’s gone to bed. There are days when I manage this but there are others where I fail miserably. What can I say – I’m still a work in progress!
Having said all that, there are times when rules go out the window. I’m not perfect at following my rules and especially recently with all our house renovation upheaval she has had more ipad time than I would have normally allowed. But sometimes you just have to do what makes life easier and not feel guilty about it.
What do you do to limit your kids screentime? Any tips for all of us? Or do you prefer your kids never to use ipads and iphones? I’d love to hear in the comments.
P.S. This is a fun book on tech vs. real books to read with kids.
It’s Friday! To end the week I wanted to share some recent conversations I’ve been having with Anya. Some are funny and sweet while others are brutally honest – kids have no editing facility do they?!
On the theory of evolution: Me explaining that many people believe that we started off as apes and evolved in to humans. A: That’s wrong. Me: Why? A: We all start off as babies and become grown-ups. (Can’t argue with that!)
Latest excuse not to sleep: A: I’ve forgotten how to sleep. I really have.
Out of the blue one day: A: Mama, why do you always have bags under your eye’s? (That made me feel good – not! And how does she even know what under-eye bags are?)
We are in the midst of house renovations and living in one room. A lot of the rest of our home is still a building site so we can’t use it. I overheard her telling her teacher: A: I have a broken house and my mum keeps me locked in one room. (Oops! Luckily her teacher knows the situation!)
What are some of the funniest things your kids have said or even brutally honest things? I’d love to hear in the comments.
Have a wonderful weekend and lets hope for some sunshine! – nomita x
Kids really do say the funniest and sweetest things ever. Lately I’ve been making a great effort to write down some of the stuff that Anya has been saying because I really want to remember it. These little conversation gems won’t be around forever and will get less and less frequent as she gets older. I was looking through my book of these notes and I thought I would share a few here for a light-hearted end to the week:
I was reading the Observer food monthly (kids special) which had an interview with Nathan Outlaw talking about his kids and how adventurous they are with food including all kinds of vegetables. I showed Anya this interview as she is a fussy eater and especially dislikes all manner of vegetables. After explaining how they eat and try everything I asked her to fill in the blank:
Me: The children eat everything like meat, fish, chicken, fruits and they even eat….? (I’m thinking veg of course) Anya: … their dad?
Latest excuses not to sleep: After trying a few usual ones and realising they’re not going to work, Anya pipes up: ‘I can’t sleep because my underwear is too small!’ (Whatever will she think of next?)
Anya asks to borrow my ipad and this is how the conversation goes: Me: Why do you want it? Anya: I want to sing along to ‘Beat It’ Me: OK give me five minutes Anya: No, that’s too long (I tell her again that she has to wait but I can see she’s getting very frustrated and impatient and I just can’t understand why the urgency) Me: Why can’t you wait five minutes? Anya: Because the concert has started and the pretend audience are getting very bored!
Anya: I’m really rich. Me: Please could you give me £50,000? Anya: I only have £2 but you can have £1 (bless her sweet little heart!)
What are some funny things your kids have come out with? Or maybe they’ve said some stuff to melt your heart? I’d love to hear in the comments.
P.S. Anya wears the gorgeous Oslo dress which is now available in the Ebabee shop. Unfortunately stock is very limited due to off-line sales and this dress being so popular.And the cute brown brogue shoes were a gift from Pisamonas – where you can get £10 off your first purchase.
Yesterday Anya was invited for a sleepover and my instant reaction was she’s only just turned six. How can she go for a sleepover? It’s not something I’ve ever really thought about because the situation has never arisen so it never needed any consideration. But now I have to think about it. I did a quick google search on sleepovers and came across a thread on netmums where they were discussing what age is right and some mums had happily has sent their kids for sleepovers at four and five. On the one hand it made me think that maybe I’m being over-protective but on the other I’ve always believed in trusting my own instinct as a mother. And what is right for one child doesn’t mean it’s right for another. At least that is what I told myself when reading the thread.
But on thinking about it further I know that Anya is mature for her six years. She is well behaved and doesn’t get up at night. She is respectful of other kids parents and is a very social child. Given all this my rational mind tells me that she is more than ready for a sleepover and will have a fabulous time. So if I’m being honest, the real question is am I ready? And the answer is no. My emotional mind is screaming ‘NO’ not yet! She has never spent a night away from me, ever. Would it be selfish to not let her go because of my own feelings? Richard felt exactly the same as me – no, not yet! Thankfully we are both very much on the same page when it comes to parenting our child.
I don’t think that there is a right age for a sleepover (within reason of course) – it depends entirely from child to child, where they are going and how the parents and the child feels about it. As the parents we need to be absolutely comfortable with it and confident that our child will be fine. But my dilemma is different. I am confident that Anya will be fine, I see no rational reason to stop her apart from my own feelings. She would not be going far so if I was needed for any reason I could be with her in minutes. I know what I probably should do but the question is will I be able to do it?
What would you do? Have your kids been for sleepovers and at what age? I’d love to hear your advice and thoughts.
Yesterday I posted an instagram picture of Anya at three months (for throw back Thursday) and it just got me thinking about how time has flown. I cannot believe how quickly these last six years have gone but on the other hand I feel like Anya has been a part of my life for as long as I have lived. I started thinking about what a mix of things motherhood is and how each ordinary day is filled with so many extraordinary moments – from happy ones to sad ones and pretty much everything in between. No two days are alike, yet each day brings so many little moments that we don’t always take the time to appreciate – I know I don’t always. I can’t think of any other phase in my life where the little moments have been so many and mattered so much. And besides, it’s moments that make up your memories, not whole days. So I thought I would share some of my favourite motherhood moments today just so that I remember to appreciate them even more because sometime we take these for granted:
That moment when she climbs in to our bed each morning asking for a cuddle (this can also happen at 3am when it’s not quite so special a moment!)
That moment when she’s trying desperately to be a big brave girl but her face tells a completely different story. Seconds later the tears come and she is a crumpled heap in my arms.
That moment when she steals a glance at me with a glint in her eye when she is about to do something she fully knows she isn’t supposed to, but does it anyway.
That moment when she (finally) goes to bed and we can hear a soft singing voice coming from the bedroom. Even that moment when she belts out ‘let it go’ completely out of tune, looking so pleased with herself (ok, maybe not so much this one!)
That moment when she does something naughty but oh so funny. I know I should be telling her off but sometimes I can’t help but burst out laughing!
That moment when you have to be the responsible parent and encourage her to do something you know she really doesn’t want to but it’s in her best interest, so you do it while you maybe crying a little inside.
That moment where I pretend to be a dog, a cat, a dragon or a monster and I actually think it’s completely normal!
That moment when you can literally feel your heart swelling with pride when someone else says takes a moment to say wonderful things about your child.
What are some of your favourite motherhood moments?
Happy weekend all and enjoy those extraordinary moments in each ordinary day – nomita x
Ever since Anya started school I’ve missed her a lot while she’s out (but of course I enjoy the quiet working time too). It’s dawned on me that she spends so much time at school and that’s a whole chunk of her life I will miss out on – oh how I wish I could be a fly on the wall! Since that’s not happening, the best I can do is to really chat to her about her day but up until recently when I asked her questions I was only getting answers like ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I can’t remember’ or ‘I’m hungry’. Then I read an article (I can’t remember where) that was pretty much saying be very specific with your questions and avoid general questions. Questions like ‘how was your day?’ or ‘what did you do in school today?’ are far too vague for a small child to answer.
So now I have gotten very specific with my questions and I get so much more from her. I also space out the questions over a period of time so that she doesn’t feel like she’s getting the third degree! I usually ask her things like:
1. What was the best thing you did today? 2. What was the worst thing about today?
3. Who would you like to have over next for a play date? (this usually changes on a daily basis but gives me an idea of who she played with on that day). 4. What was the yummiest thing on the menu? And the yuckiest? 5. Did you hear a new word today? What was it? 6. Did you fall over today? (this gets her telling me all the details if it happened but if not she will tell me about her friend who may have fallen over). 7. Who was the naughtiest in class today? 8. Did you do anything kind today? Was anybody kind to you? 9. Which lesson did you like the most?
With questions like these, Anya really starts thinking about her day and coming out with more and more little bits and pieces and we end up having a nice long conversation. I not only find out what she’s been up to but also how she felt about it all. Some days she’s full of laughter and comes out with the funniest little things and other days she’s more serious or subdued – but each day I get a little glimpse in to her world, how she sees things in it and how she’s feeling about it – what could be better than that? It’s probably the best bit of my day. We all want to know the smallest details of what our kids are up to while they’re away from us so I’d love to hear how you get your kids to tell you about their day? Do you have a creative way to get them to talk? Does it get harder as they get older? I would love to hear in the comments.
Have a wonderful weekend filled with happy little conversations – nomita x
Ebabee Likes is a style guide for babies, kids, teens and their mamas. It’s all about inspiration, ideas and indulging yourself and your brood. It’s written by me ~ Nomita ~ a style loving girl from Mumbai who now live’s in London. Read More...
Do you encourage your kids make new years resolutions? I’ve started making resolutions throughout the year whenever I feel I need to make a change but there is something special and a feeling of a fresh start that only a new year brings. I especially love making them at this time of year and have been thinking about encouraging Anya to do the same.
