Hands up, who has daughters?
Why is it that when we meet a little girl we often comment on her hair, her dress or how she looks? But when we meet a little boy, we almost never talk about appearance. Instead, we will maybe ask them what sports they play, what their hobbies are or something along those lines. For way too long, a woman’s appearance has mattered way too much and it’s ingrained in us. I mean, how often do we still look in the mirror and criticise what we see?
Do you know what worry dolls are? I hadn’t heard of them until a few weeks ago when Anya came home from school insisting that she needed a worry doll. I googled it and found out that worry dolls come from Guatemala and that they are tiny dolls that fit comfortably in the palm of a child’s hand. These tiny dolls are made to take away a child’s worries. Whenever your child has a worry, they can take the worry doll to bed with them, tell the doll their worry and place the doll under their pillow. The next morning the worries are gone because they have been taken away by the doll. Worry dolls are especially for kids but adults can use them too. I loved the idea so much – what a sweet and simple way to help your child with their worries.
When I was pregnant a friend of my mum’s jokingly said to me ‘be prepared not to sleep for the next 18 years’! I laughed. Little did I know that her joke wasn’t quite as funny as I had thought. Seven years into parenting, I am still sleep deprived. Just because your kids aren’t babies waking up for night feeds, it doesn’t mean that the sleep depravation and tiredness ends, right? I mean when was the last time you had a lie-in? Or woke up feeling really refreshed?
While it may not be possible to change the number of hours of sleep you get, it is possible to get a better night’s sleep and that’s what really counts. It’s scientifically proven that better sleep is more important than more sleep. I’ve been doing a few things recently to help myself get a better nights sleep so that I wake up refreshed in the morning and these may help you too. I’ve tried to suggest things that you can do immediately and that have worked:
Continue Reading "How to sleep better + the Leesa mattress (and discount)"
Have you taught your kids to tell the time or are you relying on school to teach them? I was having this conversation with a friend a few weeks ago when she said ‘oh they can’t read the time yet because they haven’t done it in school’. This got me thinking that we as parents should teach our kids more life stuff than always relying on school or worse, not doing it at all. Things like tying shoelaces, telling the time, simple cooking skills, tidying up and all that kind of stuff.
Continue Reading "Friday chat: Have you taught your kids to tell the time?"
I recently read an article (I can’t remember where) that talked about raising happy kids. All of us want happy kids, right? One of the things the article mentioned was the importance of giving your child choices, especially younger kids (say under 10) who have little or no control over their lives. This point really stood out for me. Kids really don’t have much control over their lives, do they? They are told what to eat and when, at school everything is structured and decided for them, they attend extra curricular activities that perhaps parents choose for them. They are told what time to go to bed, what time to get up, when to shower, when to do homework and the list goes on. While some of this stuff has to be decided for them (if I left mine to decide when to shower, it would be never!) I’ve realised it is possible to give them more control.
Continue Reading "Friday chat: How much choice do you give your kids?"
I’ve had a fussy/picky/tricky (pick a word) eater since the day she was born. The first clue she gave us was the on the day she was born. She wouldn’t drink her milk or barely had a few drops. I was actually kept in hospital an extra two days as they were concerned about her lack of appetite. Then came weaning – probably the most difficult phase we’ve been through yet. It took nearly 1.5 years to wean her – that is truth. Fast forward seven years and lots of creative, sometimes downright crazy tricks and methods used by me and things have improved. While I’m no expert on how to get fussy eaters to eat, I think I’ve learned a thing or two. I would still call her a fussy eater but at least she eats far better than she used to.
Continue Reading "Friday chat: How to get fussy eaters to eat (seriously)"
Do you cook with your kids? I don’t mean the odd cake or planned baking time but involving them in everyday cooking, everyday? I love cooking and cook most days but I just didn’t enjoy it as much with Anya because of the mess and slowness that it brought. I used to despair at the extra cleaning up, the extra time, the extra everything. A simple task that was supposed to take 10 minutes would take five times that!
Then I started thinking about it and realised that cooking with Anya could be a lot of fun if I changed the way I looked at things. She is interested in cooking (as most kids are) and it would be a real shame not to develop her interest especially when we all know that there are so many benefits of cooking with kids. So I thought about how I could make our cooking time in to something that we both looked forward to everyday. Here’s what I did and what anyone can do to make cooking with kids a daily thing that fun for everybody.
My tips for cooking with kids everyday (without killing them 😉 )
1. Make up your mind to remain patient no matter what.
Before you start, make up your mind to stay patient. This has helped me no end. Taking a minute beforehand to decide that impatience isn’t an option has made for much happier cooking together times, for Anya and for me. And after a while, like me, you will naturally be more patient.
2. Only cook with kids when you have time.
Cooking with kids is always going to take a lot longer than if you did it by yourself. There will be days when you need to be somewhere or you need to get dinner on the table in a hurry, so just do it yourself on those days. But when you know you have more time, that’s when you can take a slower pace, keep your patience in check and enjoy the process together.
3. Expect mess.
This used to drive me insane – poor Anya would barely spill a drop and I’d whip out the cloth and clean up after her every move. I put myself in her shoes and I couldn’t think of anything more irritating than someone cleaning up after you every five seconds! So now I accept there will be mess, sometimes a lot of mess and when I feel like reaching for that cloth, I just remind myself of the decision I made before I started cooking – see point 1.
4. Let them lead where possible.
Give them a task that they can be in charge of, without any help from you. This makes kids feel happy and proud – the look of pride on Anya’s face when she has done something completely by herself and the concentration while she’s doing it is priceless. It can be as simple or as involved as your child can manage, depending on their age of course. Things like pouring all the ingredients in to a bowl and mixing or breading homemade fish fingers which is one of Anya’s favourite jobs.
5. Let them express themselves.
If you’re a fan of cooking, you’ll know that it’s one of life’s great pleasures for so many reasons. For me cooking is fun, it’s relaxing and it’s so creative. This is exactly how kids should be allowed to feel about it too if they are going to enjoy it. The only way they will feel like this is if they are allowed to express themselves freely, without you giving instructions the whole way. Let them give ideas on what to cook, suggest extra ingredients that may not have been part of the plan or give ideas on presentation.
6. Think of it as bonding time.
Cooking together with your kids is a great time for bonding but only if you view it as this. Once you view it as this, cooking becomes such a fun part of your time together and you will come to look forward to it everyday. Anya and I chat about her day, tell jokes and laugh at the mishaps and spills. And then when Richard comes home, she excitedly tells him about what she helped make.
These are a few things I’ve done but I’d love to hear from you too. Would you involve your kids in everyday cooking? Do you have any tips for cooking with kids everyday?
P.S. If you’d like to check out some recipes perfect for kids to get involved with, take a look at these soba noodles or these homemade pizzas or homemade fish fingers.
When you praise your kids to friends, is it bragging? Schools out and I could not be more proud of Anya. She has achieved so much this year – getting the achievers award for her year as well as a fabulous report. A report that made me cry because not only was it great on the learning and academic front, but the wonderful things they wrote about her as a person made my heart swell with pride. But why is it considered boasting to tell others that your child has done well? Why is it not acceptable to be proud of your child in public? Why do some parents feel the need to put you down if you praise your child?
As a habit, I don’t speak much about Anya’s achievements to anyone apart from family. But I happened to mention these latest achievements to a ‘friend’ and she immediately turned around and said something jokingly (but with a clear sarcastic edge) along the lines of how I couldn’t stop talking about my super star child. I had mentioned it once. It was the day I found out about her achievers award and naturally I was bursting with pride. This is a recent example but I have been faced with this same situation before.
I get that if you constantly talk about how great your kid is then it is annoying, very annoying and that is showing off. If every update on facebook is about your how your 2 year old is reading War and Peace then yes, that’s not cool. But to once mention an achievement or something fabulous they have done should be more than ok. After all you should be able to share your proud parent moments with friends and expect them to be happy for you. I am equally happy to talk about Anya’s faults (like her making crazy faces every time I get the camera out 😉) and I don’t ever hide them so why shouldn’t I speak of her accomplishments? When friends tell me about the wonderful things their kids have achieved, I am genuinely happy for them. It’s not a competition – if my kid did something great, it’s not a reflection on your kid. In fact it has nothing to do with your kid.
On the flip side, if you talk about your child’s faults or shortcomings, everybody seems more than happy to listen. Those same people that dismiss the good stuff, are all ears when it comes to the bad stuff. Strange. This isn’t a rant, but I’m genuinely wondering how parents feel about this – maybe some people will say that me mentioning it even once was showing off. I personally think that we should be comfortable praising our kids to others beyond family. If they’ve done something that made you proud, why not tell people and expect them to be happy for you. Of course, I’m not saying that every conversation should revolve around your ah-mazing kid who can do no wrong. But there is a big difference between bragging about your kids and just being proud of an achievement. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and any ‘bragging’ experiences you’ve had, good or bad?
I am so glad I have started writing down what Anya says because even at 6½ years she comes out with some hilarious stuff! I know these innocent comments and crazy sweet words will disappear over time so I want to make the most of it! Do you write down what your kids say? It’s such a lovely memory to have and look back on. So to end the week on a happy, funny and light-hearted note, here are some recent conversations with Anya:
We were chatting about an upcoming 6th birthday party that Anya was invited to.
Me: What does your friend like? I need to buy her a birthday present.
Anya: She likes boys. (of course I’m thinking, boys already?! But I continue the conversation)
Me: I can’t buy her a boy, can I?
Anya: No, but you can buy her a toy boy!
Oh the innocence of childhood!
Out of the blue:
Anya: Do I have boobies or nickels?
We were at a restaurant and Anya chose Cumberland sausage and chips for her meal. She then proceeded to tell the waitress her order:
Anya: Can I please have the sausage and chips without the Cumberland?
Anya’s just lost both her front teeth. We’ve always made a big deal of the tooth fairy and Anya’s always been so excited about the whole magic of the tooth fairy, much more so than Santa (sorry Santa!). So I was not ready for this.
Me: How much did the tooth fairy give you this time?
Anya: (very matter of factly) It’s not really the tooth fairy.
Me: Who is it then?
Anya: It’s you.
Noooo… I’m not ready for these magical myths to be busted just yet.
What are some of the funny, cute, candid and crazy things your kids have said? I’d love to hear so do leave a comment below.
Have a happy weekend ~ nomita x
A couple of weeks ago Anya and I went shopping to buy a birthday gift for one of her friends. Near our local shops, we have a large no-car square surrounded by shops with an outdoor play fountain in the middle that the kids adore. I often see kids turning up in their swimsuits and playing in the fountain till they are drenched. Playing outside with water is such a fun thing to do for kids and Anya loves it too. On this day we visited the fountain and I saw at least three kids, aged between 2 and 6 years, playing without any clothes on at all. I was quite bit taken aback.
I have no problem with kids taking their clothes off as kids, especially the littlest ones, like to do that and there is absolutely no harm in a private garden or similar private space. But in a public place in full view of thousands of people, I just didn’t think this was a good idea and I know I would not be comfortable letting Anya do it. Also age is a factor here – I mean five or six is just a bit too old to do something like this under any circumstances in public. Obviously I’m also thinking about the darker side of life where we do live alongside a very small minority of people who may not have good intentions – you know what I mean. So why put our kids in what could be a vulnerable position? That’s how I feel but am I over-reacting? Am I being too cautious and cynical? I don’t know but it absolutely doesn’t feel right to me. And even if you set aside any fears of the darker side of life, is it really appropriate to allow your kids to be naked in public? I don’t think so.
Would you let your kids take off all their clothes in a busy, public place? All it takes is that one wrong person to see them so I think even though it’s a very small risk, it’s a risk not worth taking. Similarly I wouldn’t put pictures of my kids without clothes on this blog or any social media either. But aside from any dangers, I still think there’s no reason for kids to take their clothes off in public. What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Have a wonderful weekend full of lots of playtime in the sunshine! And a very happy 4th of July to my American readers. x
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